GeneralsJoes Reviews BBTS Exclusive Falcon, Mercenary, Zanya and Zandar

Florida Everglades.  0330 Hours.

“Come in!  Dammit, someone respond!”

Falcon slammed his radio against the nearest tree in disgust as Mercenary roamed over his way in a low, stealthy crouch.

“What’s goin’ on, LT?” Mercenary inquired as he drew close enough to talk in a whisper.

“Wish I knew.  We’ve got flamethrowers, sniper fire, and I just heard at least half a mag of 5.56, but nobody is responding.”

“Well…if no one else is gonna take the fight to ’em, might as well be us.” Mercenary gestured his head towards the direction he had come from.


“Saw Zandar over that way.  He took cover after all hell broke loose.  I was ’bout to jump him, but figured I should get your say so first”

Falcon nodded and crouch-walked past the Renegades Mercenary, lifting his tactical shotgun out in front of him.  He couldn’t help but glance at the Cobra-issue Viper rifle that Mercenary still toted around from his past time in the Cobra Viper corps.  Falcon would be lying if he said he was totally comfortable with it.  But the Renegades were totally off the grid.  He could direct them, but had no say-so about their gear load out.

Falcon and Mercenary pushed through the brush as silent as possible, but stopped suddenly when they saw what appeared to be a young girl looking very worried at the surrounding chaos.  Flickers of flame shot ribbons of light throughout the thick woods, but they could still see the silhouette of the girl, but not much in the way of details.  Mercer used hand gestures to ask permission to proceed and Falcon nodded.  His face turned into a sneer as he set down the rifle, pulled out a pistol, then screwed on a silencer.

Slowly he pressed forward, reaching out to the young girl with a consoling hand.  Before he could bring her in to protect her from erupting gunfire, she whirled around and drilled him in the temple with an elbow, breaking out in laughter.  Mercenary stumbled backwards, squeezing off a trio of silenced shots, but they went wide even as the green-haired girl in the Zartan t-shirt pulled out her own large caliber Magnum.  Two thundering blasts rang from the thick barrel, glancing off of Mercenary’s appropriated Alley-Viper body armor as he stumbled to the ground.  Even though the shots were not direct impacts, breath exploded from his lungs and he was gasping as he dropped into the grass.

Zanya sneered and moved in, her pistol training on the fallen soldier, but Falcon was right in her path, lifting his shotgun.

“Don’t do it little girl –“

But before he could finish, an arrow drove deep into his right side, sending blood spraying from his lips and staining his green uniform.  Zandar leveled his crossbow and loaded another arrow.

“Did you forget about me, G.I. Joe?  That’s okay… everyone does.”

Finish your own adventure on my 30th Anniversary Review Page or click the links directly below!

Pre-Order this set at Big Bad Toy Store today!

GeneralsJoes Reviews BBTS Exclusive Red Dog, Bull, Thunder and Road Pig

Florida Everglades.  0325 hours.

Red Dog cursed under his breath as sniper fire rang out not too far away.

“Blast it”! He shouted as reinforcement.  “Where was that comin’ from?”

“Don’t ask me, ‘Dog”, Bull replied in his thick Turkish accent.  He lifted his rifle.  “Let us see if we can find out, eh?”

Normally operating as the Renegades, under the auspices of several layers of black ops protocols, their connections to the Slaughterhouse sometimes put them on operations in tandem with the Marauders, who were certainly a shade below gray themselves, but not quite as deep as the trio of Renegades.  While the Marauders were known for their quick strike ops against domestic and international targets, the Renegades were not.  In fact they were unknown completely.

Often times used in assassination plots and other unspeakable purposes, the unusually dressed Renegades chose to let their actions speak above their wardrobe.  Red Dog lifted his Desert Eagle pistol as he turned East in another flanking attempt, with Bull close behind.  They didn’t get far before the stench of motor oil mixed with sweat permeated the air.  But they could not see any vehicles…

The lacrosse stick club pounded Red Dog in the back of the head, though he had sensed it coming and was already shifting his momentum, so the blow was just a glancing one.  Bull spun rattling off gunfire from his silver machine gun.  Rounds drilled Thunder in the chest and tossed him back, but the funny looking lacrosse pads weren’t just for show.  They were reinforced with ballistic battle armor, and the Dreadnok motorhead rolled backwards into a low crouch, his teeth bared.

Bull was unfazed and started towards him, but was interrupted by a massive frame of a “man” slamming into him broadside.  Bull was no small person himself, and being the well trained acrobat that he was twisted effortlessly and landed on his feet, facing off against the mountainous Road Pig.

“Nice dodge, baldy,” snarled the monstrous white-haired Dreadnok.  Easily the strongest, most powerful, but least stable of the whole lot.  “But lessee you dodge THIS!”

Road Pig charged forward, his cinder block hammer swinging in a low, ferocious arc.

Red Dog had recovered and turned to help his friend, but suddenly, Thunder was upon him, wrestling him to the ground.  Red Dog’s Desert Eagle barked loudly, but only hit air as he felt himself being drilled into the swampy muck.

Finish your own adventure on my 30th Anniversary Review Page or click the links directly below!

Pre-Order this set at Big Bad Toy Store today!

GeneralsJoes Reviews BBTS Exclusive Spirit, Low Light, “Gnaw” and Zanzibar

Florida Everglades.  0310 Hours.

Already things were going South.  Desperately attempting a covert approach, the Marauders had been spotted and Burn Out had razed their team with his flamethrower.  As Barbecue separated to take on the aggressive Dreadnok, the team split apart, hoping to flank their disorganized enemy.

Only it turns out the enemy was not so disorganized.

Spirit wove seamlessly through the brush, almost becoming one with the jungle as he paced himself South, trying to find a way around the cackling Dreadnok.  His movements were smooth, slick, and silent, but even the quietest of hunter gives off heat amongst the cold leaves of the surrounding trees.

A quick shot rang out, which Spirit was a bit too slow to avoid, and took a bullet at his left hip as he dove to the ground.  Low Light, who had been following close behind, immediately dropped to a crouch and raised his rifle to his eye, quickly spotting the familiar curled hat of Australian poacher Dreadnok “Gnaw”.  The snarling ruffian let his rifle slope a little towards Spirit as he moved away.  The Native American Joe caught Gnaw’s scent now, and silently chided himself for not noticing it sooner.  He also quickly noticed amongst the thick brush, he had no immediate outlet, and could almost feel the heat of the infrared scope on his forehead.

Low Light squeezed off a shot, striking his target, the broad side of Gnaw’s rifle, shattering it.  The poacher shouted profanity and spun around, whipping a knife from a sheath in the small of his back.  Low Light jacked back the magazine, loading another round in the chamber, but another shot rang out to his right and struck him in the shoulder.  Grimacing, the sniper slammed to the thick jungle ground as the Dreadnok pirate Zanzibar was on him, casting aside his old school pistol for a blade of his own.  But Low Light was ready.

Ten yards away, Gnaw gracefully eased forward, his knife glinting in the moonlight, but suddenly his prey was upon him and Spirit descended like a jungle demon.

Finish your own adventure on my 30th Anniversary Review Page or click the links directly below!

Pre-Order this set at Big Bad Toy Store today!

GeneralsJoes Reviews BBTS Exclusive Barbecue and Burnout!

The Florida Everglades.  0300 hours.

Team Marauder silently eased through the underbrush 46 miles deep into the Florida Everglades.  Covert Military Operations are deeply frowned upon on domestic soil, so Hawk had elected to send in the team that could most easily be written off, should anything go South.  Joined by the Renegades, Falcon led Barbecue, Low Light and Spirit deep into the swampy glades, on the hunt for the Dreadnoks.

Over the past several months, the Dreadnoks had ramped up operations, turning to domestic terrorist groups for weapons transport and grunt work.  They were obviously planning something big.  The Marauders were there to stop it.

Just as Low Light’s infrared goggles flared to life, orange flame roared through the trees ahead, halting them in their tracks.  Burn Out roared a bellowing laugh as he trained the flamethrower on the infiltration team.  Barbecue surged forward.

The adventure awaits on my 30th Anniversary Review Page or click the links directly below!

Pre-Order this set at Big Bad Toy Store today!

GeneralsJoes Review-A-Palooza – The Sequel

Remember like a week and a half ago when I ran those daily reviews for G.I. Joe 30th Anniversary figures that hadn’t been officially released yet?  Yeah, that was awesome.  Guess what I’m doing again?

Starting on Monday, I will once again be diving headfirst into new product review hell!  I’ll be tackling a couple of key figures from the 30th Anniversary Wave 4 assortment that haven’t yet been covered (hmmm, I wonder who…) and I’m also happy to announce I’ll be reviewing the Dreadnoks and Slaughter Marauder 7-Packs from Big Bad Toy Store!

This will make for many late nights for me, but hopefully also late nights for the readers who get to check out all of the details and images prior to official release!

Until then, make sure you catch up on my 30th Anniversary Review Page, which has almost all of Wave 3 and also a chunk of Wave 4.  Last, but certainly not least, I must once again give props to Cobra Island for coining the Review-A-Palooza term.  I dig it.

Toy News International gets the scoop on the Dreadnoks and Marauders 7-Packs!

Well kudos to the folks over at Toy News International for getting the advanced scoop on the upcoming Big Bad Toy Store exclusive Dreadnoks and Slaughter Marauder’s 7-Packs!  Jay has posted a whopping 200 pictures in a series of massive galleries showcasing the best and worst of these two sets.

The volume of images is impressive and credit goes to them for getting their hands on these prior to release.

Thanks to Jay and the guys at TNI for getting these images out there and letting us know.  I’ve mirrored just a sampling of images below, but you can see a library of great pictures right here.

To pre-order these great looking sets, hit up Big Bad Toy Store!