Lead writer for Hasbro Cinematic Universe reveals not one, but two terrible ideas for the film series

Many fans of G.I. Joe and Hasbro properties in general have been quietly getting excited for whatever may be to come with the upcoming Hasbro Cinematic Universe.  The idea of a film “relaunch” bringing together G.I. Joe, M.A.S.K., and several other Hasbro properties just seems like an idea too good to be true and an awesome way to potentially bring in a new generation of Hasbro action figure fans.

But then you read an interview with one of the lead writers, Akiva Goldsman and suddenly you’re not so sure.

Over on the Wall Street Journal (of course the full interview is hidden behind a paywall) apparently Goldsman has revealed some early ideas for this Hasbro Cinematic Universe.  Now, these are just ideas, so perhaps we shouldn’t get too worked up, but hey, we’re toy collectors, like Bruce Banner said, I’m pretty sure we’re always worked up.

Thankfully AgentsofMASK.com pulled over some of the key quotes from WSJ…well, thankfully, because at least we can read them.  Not to thankfully, because honestly, if this is the direction things are going in, I’d probably rather they just didn’t.  Here’s the quote in question:

Among the ideas they came up with were a “G.I. Joe” film set in World War II and a new version of M.A.S.K., the 1980s-era secret-agent series, that doesn’t feature the adult superspies seen in the cartoons but rather a multicultural group of youths in Detroit who come upon “magic technology” similar to what fans may remember. “That’s a story relevant for today, but if you remember the cartoon or the toy, we trigger your memory and you take a look,” Mr. Goldsman said

So, wait.  First you’re going to take the G.I. Joe universe and drop it back 40 years, effectively removing every important character, or making them irrelevant by sending them back to World War II.  Then, instead of a highly trained technology task force, M.A.S.K. is going to be a group of kids who stumble on magic technology?

Sorta like the Power Rangers?  Is that what we’re working with here?  Is that what these ace writers are bringing to the table for the Hasbro Cinematic Universe?

I know… this is one interview, effectively years before an actual movie is getting made, there’s absolutely no reason to get worked up.  A hundred things are thrown at the drawing board throughout the process and not all of them stick.  I truly hope neither of these two ideas stick.

I mean, one would think that Hasbro is bringing their brands together to try and create a more cohesive universe that looks and feels familiar.  Neither of these two concepts feels the least bit familiar, and let’s all hope these were early ideas that were quickly discarded.

Thanks to AgentsofMASK.com for pulling out some of the intel.  If anyone has a subscription to the Wall Street Journal and wants to toss the entire interview my way, I’d love to read the rest.

I think.

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17 thoughts on “Lead writer for Hasbro Cinematic Universe reveals not one, but two terrible ideas for the film series

  1. Um, why would they do this? Didn’t they just see what happened with Max Steel and JEM?

  2. “I know… this is one interview, effectively years before an actual movie
    is getting made, there’s absolutely no reason to get worked up.”

    Rise. of. Cobra.
    S.P.U.D.
    Dragonhawk XH1

  3. A Sgt. Savage tie-in with no real timeline referenced would be interesting to me. A whole area of unexplored secret areas lost to the past and technological innovation and exploration, which plays into potential for the future for such tech.
    ———————————————————————————–
    The G.I.Joe realm could have multiple corners of unexplored reaches without sacrificing or dumbing things down for a great foundation of bringing things together.

    And doing it with something mostly original all around.

    Stumbling upon magic technology is a weak, weak, weak, weak, move.

  4. Stumbling upon magic technology…Sounds more like Visionaries…maybe this guy doesn’t know a thing about the properties and is getting his origins crossed….but lets face it, there isn’t much magic or technology that Detroit is known for.

  5. I’m sure the World War II idea it boils down to the need to have a war backdrop for an origin story/reboot. Vietnam is not really perceived as kid-friendly these days, and Iraq and Afghanistan hit too close to home and may not be marketable overseas. Meanwhile, Captain America has already established WWII as safe for the sci-fi/action comic book genre.

  6. This idea was doomed to fail from the start anyway. In order for the universe thing to work you have to have pre-established entities. They keep trying to reinvent the wheel. Go back to your roots!

  7. It feels like this ridiculous HCU will be dropped sooner rather than later as it is unworkable and there is no real interest in it. Hasbro just needs to stick to its profitable lines like Transformers, Star Wars, Marvel, Nerf and My Little Pony. They may want to consider getting a new CEO.

  8. “…We’re kicking around the idea to make GI Joe an all-woman team, who fight what we call “Frustrators” in the 1930s. Not terrorists. The all-woman team is one of Brian K. Vaughn’s ideas. Totally original. The ‘GI’ would stand for ‘Gender Identity’. Essentially, this team finds a way to travel out of WW1 after finding Transformer technology that makes them all men. Except for Scarlet. In the modern day, they meet ROM, who is a car mechanic from Cuba. He tells the newly gender-swapped Joes that a group of musicians are using their laser-light show to force kids into buying their generic pop-music, in an attempt to revitalize the dying music business. This would be our take on the Visionaries. And fighting them all would be magic-wielding teenagers whose magic-infused Halloween MASKs allow them to see the future. And it is bleak, let me tell you.”

    Writers Room, eh?

  9. Another possible reason for reaching into WW2 is the newly established but IDW only (so far) Miles Mayhem connection to the Adventure Team and Joe Colton.

  10. My friends said that even magic mushrooms are hard to get in the D. Okay, they never said that.

  11. So many problems with this. First off we all are tired of these early twenty something old emo over dramatic kids being put in these situations …divergent ..I am 4, jumpers or whatever it’s called, hunger games…and the Bain of them all Twilight. They are spies. Let them be adults.and they were already multicultural..
    And Joe..hmmmm no..what’s cobra a version of hydra? And Joe the screaming eagles…stop trying to reinvent the wheel …smh

  12. The couple of pages devoted to MASK in that one-shot Unite E comic had them as cops in future Detroit that stumbled upon magic tech or some such. Guess Hasbro really wants MASK based on magic in Detroit for whatever reason.

    As for GI Joe, I can’t figure out why they don’t just sit some competent writers down with the 80s cartoon mini-series and have them adopt that world-spanning race for the MacGuffin formula. Allows for a simple plot, an easy way to intro new characters, multiple environments, a lot of action. Just try to sell some toys. Nobody’s going to be winning any Academy Awards with this shit.

  13. I’m not surprised. Akiva Goldsman wrote Batman and Robin for Christ’s sake ; re-wrote Batman Forever from a darker script; and he wrote Jonah Hex. When it comes to comic book movies and now cartoons he doesn’t respect the source material like he does for his other adaptations- A Beautiful Mind, I Am Legend, The Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, etc.. He has a stereotypical sensibility about comic books and cartoons in that they’re silly so they don’t deserve the same respect and care that New York Times best selling novels do, which is ridiculous. Hasbro needs writers who actually grew up watching the cartoons, read the comic books, and played with the toys. The first movie that comes out is going to kill the cinematic Universe. They already crashed and burned the potential for a Jem franchise. GI Joe needs a serious reboot, I don’t mind the 1940’s idea if its a Sergeant Savage and his Screaming Eagles which will serve as a prequel for a rebooted GI Joe franchise.

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