I have seen the Rise of COBRA…and it was….

Good?  Great?  Somewhere in between?

I’ve gotta spend a few minutes setting up the scene.  Last night was an adventure and a half.  The three plus hour drive to Warwick, Rhode Island was mostly uneventful, though I did hit some Targets on the way down and got myself some Wave 3 troop builders…  but no Pit Commandos, dammit.  However, once the Charity Screening event started, it was just that…an event!  Mingling in the crowd with so many other folks from the general public as well as Hasbro people, Stephen Sommers, Lorenzo Di Bonaventura, media folks, and yes, Rachel Nichols, was an amazing spectacle.  Something a small town boy like me doesn’t get to experience very often.

Perhaps it was the high from the event itself, or perhaps it was because I was in the front of the theater on a monster screen, but the film was..well…it was nuts.  Tons of action, lots of stuff happening all at once, yet not too much to keep track of.  My head was sorta swimming a bit, but now that I’ve had some time to mull it over, I’m ready to post my review(s).

Yeah, I did two of them.  How lame is that?  A lot of the info in the two is the same, but I’ve separated them into a “Spoiler Free” version and a “Spoiler Full” version.  You can choose which path you take.  A word of warning, the Spoiler Full one has a LOT more detail, because, obviously, being able to talk about character specifics and specific events helps me to flesh out the review a bit better.

I knew it was going to be a good night when Stephen Sommers stood in front of the crowd and said “If you have to use the rest room, use it now, because there won’t be time to do it when the film starts”.

He was right.

19 thoughts on “I have seen the Rise of COBRA…and it was….

  1. Awesome review!

    Were there a lot scenes that were in the Trailers but weren’t in the movie?

    And Destros mask…is it the same as the picture that was leaked earlier in the year?

  2. Excellent, excellent review! I followed your journey yesterday through Twitter, a little envious, but looking forward to your review. The more positive reviews that I readn just excites me even more about ROC. I’m planning on a Saturday show, not too geeked out to have to see it on Friday night. You have done a great service to the Joe community with your review. Well done – the rest of the work week will be a blur!

  3. Thanks, guys!

    I wouldn’t say there were a lot of scenes. The ones that stick out were when McCullen and Hawk are talking, and he asks “What did you say your unit was called?”, and Hawk replies “I didn’t.” That film isn’t even in the final cut.

    Also, Baroness never said the “Real American Heroes” line that’s been in the trailers.

  4. thanks for the info I been waiting eagerly for it. ONE question I do have, From Everything I have seen it looks like a good movie everything I have seen looks awesome EXCEPT those suits, when the previews show that I get a bad pit in my stomach. THATS THE ONLY thing that has turned me off from this movie storm shadow Baroness the whole cast,has had me VERY happy. So tell us how was the excelertator suits?

  5. Accelerator Suits are really not a big part of the movie. They’re a plot device during the Paris Pursuit scene that come and then go, and really add up to a pretty small part of the overall film. The chase sequence is so insane, you almost forget how silly the look in the stand-still pictures.

  6. I like the idea of the accelerator suits – not too crazy about them running super fast through Paris, but I can deal with it. I like the suits from the aspect of powered combat armored suits. Future tech on the big screen!
    If any hard core Joe fans have a problem with combat armor – remember Barricade? Awesome figure with combat armor. (Alpha 1 Accelerator Suit?)

  7. You have no idea how relieved I am that you enjoyed it. It seemed that on JC, you were the first person to stand up for the movie and tell people to give it a chance. I felt much the same way and haven’t been lucky enough to see it yet. You liking it means that there is a high probability that I still will, too.

    I only read the spoiler free version, as I really want to be surprised by this in the theaters. I’ve tried to stay away from the scripts and spoilers on message boards. So, this answer may be in there, and if it is, I apologize, without giving too much detail, is it set up well for a sequel?

  8. Alex…initial drafts of the script were even better set up for a sequel, but even as it stands, yes, it is perfectly set up for a sequel. It seems certain events were done to lead up to it. They did change a few things, too, to kind of “tie it up” a bit more neatly, but there is room for the next movie, no doubt.

  9. Tom there is a big difference between Barricades armour and the accelerator suits, BIG DIFFERENCE. one does have them jumping over buildings and running at 100 mph ( im exaggerating ) if it was just body armor type suits Id have no problem with it, ITS VERY GOOD to hear that its only a plot device that comes and goes. some of the previews make it look like it was THE THING at times LOL So Im happy about it not being in the movie much. Looking forward to this movie now, that was the only reservation I had about it thanks for posting

  10. Jamar,

    The best way to describe that scene is “Remeber how the Matrix banked on the freeway scene for trailers? This is the same thing.”

    I believe you will find that analogy quite popular among Hasbros GIJoe team also.

  11. Just wanted to say thanks. You obviously care a lot about your fellow fans – posting two reviews must have taken a very long time – most appreciated! Great insight – can’t wait to see it!

  12. Without getting too specific, I do think the choices they made with the Baroness weakens a character who could very well be the strongest female in the G.I. Joe mythos–so I’m right there with you on that.

  13. Usually, where villains are concerned, I find that anything more subtle or challenging than Pure Evil is also more satisfying than Pure Evil.

    That said, while I don’t care about the comic book continuity, I wasn’t overly impressed with Baroness turning to the Joe side, except that the brainwashing at least accounted for how she’d have gotten so evil. (If Destro was using her brainwashed status to get her to be with him, there’s some creepy implied rape going on.)

    Cobra Commander’s origin didn’t quite ring true for me; I didn’t feel that what he endured was enough to make him this way. However, anyone who denies that The Doctor is one of the best characters in the movie is blinded by nostalgia; I didn’t want him to become Cobra Commander, ’cause The Doctor was awesome!

    Some of the fights got a bit too weightless, so that nothing seemed to be at stake because of the Matrixy way the characters could hop around. But by and large, I loved the fight scenes, and you’re right to note that they are at least as brutally violent as those in Resolute; the opening ambush got me totally marking out, and the Pit attack was awesome as well.

    I wish they’d left Storm Shadow’s revelation in the film; he could have used a bit more ambiguity. Otherwise, I preferred him in this to his portrayal in Resolute.

    Hopefully they’ll insert some bonus and deleted scenes on the DVD, but in the meantime, while Rise of Cobra isn’t necessarily a good movie, I feel that it was a kickass G.I. Joe story.

  14. Ok, only one question: Why did heavy duty give more orders than hawk himself?? maybe i missed the part when he was assigned GENERAL heavy duty?

  15. Personally I didnt really enjoy it, Im a die hard Joe fan (80’s animated series)and I put this in the same category as the super mario movie…..other than names of characters this wasnt GI JOE…..baroness…..no accent…….cobra commander….no hiss in his voice…….and the typical look of the gi joe universe just wasnt present…. dont get me wrong though i realize that this is apparently an origins type movie and the sequel should i hope start to show some real signs on GI JOE.

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